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(January, 2000) At a conference of Orthodox mental health professionals, Rabbi David Cohen, urged all communities to publicize the danger, as one is not permitted to endanger an entire community for the sake of an individual. Even monitoring of the molester has proven ineffective, not only according to mental health research, but according to Rabbi Cohen, as stated in the Talmudic admonition "Ain Apotropos L'arayot" (there is no monitoring of one guilty of sexual offenses.)
Another speaker at the conference quoted the late eminent authority "Chafetz Chaim" that with regard to the possibility of mental harm, not only is one permitted, but mandated to apprise the community as this does not constitute Lashon Hara (evil talk). So telling becomes a protective community measure. --Vivian Skolnick, Chicago Jewish News
The Following Stats are from the US Dept. of Justice:
Sex offenders
On a given day in 1994 there were approximately 234,000 offenders convicted of rape or sexual assault under the care, custody, or control of corrections agencies; nearly 60% of these sex offenders are under conditional supervision in the community.
The median age of the victims of imprisoned sexual assaulters was less than 13 years old; the median age of rape victims was about 22 years.
An estimated 24% of those serving time for rape and 19% of those serving time for sexual assault had been on probation or parole at the time of the offense for which they were in State prison in 1991.
Child victimizers
Women offenders
In 1998 there were an estimated 3.2 million arrests of women, accounting for 22% of all arrests that year.
Based on self-reports of victims of violence, women account for 14% of violent offenders, an annual average of about 2.1 million violent female offenders.
Women accounted for about 16% of all felons convicted in State courts in 1996: 8% of convicted violent felons, 23% of property felons, and 17% of drug felons.
In 1998 more than 950,000 women were under correctional supervision, about 1% of the U.S. female population.
The Punishment
61% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.
84% of all rapes in the United States are Date (Acquaintance) Rapes
A woman is 5 times more likely to be raped by someone she knows.
57% of all sexual assaults take place on dates or in the context of relationships
If the rape is reported to police, there is a 50.8% chance that an arrest will be made.
If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of a felony conviction.
If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
So, even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.
Factoring in unreported rapes, about 6% of rapists—1 out of 16— will ever spend a day in jail. 15 out of 16 will walk free. According to the US Department of Justice.
Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.
Table of Contents:
- Jewish Resources
- Articles (The articles listed below can be found by following this link)
- Heinous Crime (12/22/1992)
Helping bad boys be better (April 28, 2000)
Testimony of Rabbi David Saperstein, Director, Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism - In Support of The Prison Rape Reduction Act of 2002 (07/31/2002)
Can Sex Offenders Ever Be Cured? (08/07/2002)
When A Family Member Molests: Reality, Conflict, and The Need For Support (October, 2003)
When Melodies, Torah Scholars, and Abuse Collide (2003)
Prison Service: More and more inmates turning to religion (10/12/2005)
- Policies Addressing Victimization and Offenders
- Lashon Hara ('derogatory speech, that is true')
- NCSY Conduct Policy and Behavioral Standards
- Reporting Laws: Mandatory Reporters of Child Abuse and Neglect (USA)
- Using A Shadchan or Other Dating Service: Prevention of Date Rape, Marital Rape, Incest and Other Forms of Childhood Sexual Abuse
- Offender Resources
- Sex Addictions Resources on The Awareness Center's Web Page
The Aleph Institute Aleph is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) national organization, founded in 1981, whose mission and mandate is to serve society by: (1) providing critical social services to families in crisis; (2) addressing the pressing religious, educational, humanitarian and advocacy needs of individuals in institutional environments; and (3) implementing solutions to significant issues relating to our criminal justice system, with an emphasis on families, faith-based rehabilitation and preventive ethics education.
Jewish Prisoners Assistance Foundation JPAF is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to providing spiritual guidance to Jewish prisoners in the state of Illinois and to their families. JPAF and Rabbi Scheiman recently received approval to counsel and provide guidance at all four federal facilities (Greenville, Pekin, Marion and the MCC in Chicago). Through the dedication of Board Member Marvin Juron--whose efforts included personal visits to the Metropolitan Correctional Center--in Chicago--the JPAF was able to achieve this important accomplishment. It will allow JPAF to expand coverage to all those in need.
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- Jewish Sex Offender Registry: Rabbis, Cantors and Other Trusted Officials (click here to see the varies cases involving Jewish Sex Offenders)
Secular Resources
Articles (The articles listed below can be found by following this link)
- Do Sexually Abused Kids Become Abusers?
- Experts say pedophilia may never be cured
Explaining Pedophilia - What Is Pedophilia?
"Grooming" or Setting Up Your Victim
Lock up sex offenders
To Prevent Sexual Abuse, Abusers Step Forward
The Making of a Molester
US Department of Justice: Sex Offender Management - Recidivism of Sex Offenders
What is DARVO? "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender."
Who Are Sex Offenders?
Oprah's Child Predator Watch Transcript - (10/4 2005)
Kidnapped by a pedophile: the Shasta Groene tragedy; discussion of child predators and how we as a nation can get child predators off the streets (10/04/2005)
Oprah captures child molesters; Oprah viewers help in the arrests of two child molesters (10/11/2005)
Family and Friends of Sex Offenders
- When A Family Member Molests: Reality, Conflict, and The Need For Support (October, 2003)
- To The Family Members of Friend of a Sex Offender A Few Things to think about if a family memer or friend has been charged with a sex offense, or you decide to maintain a relationship with the alleged offender. It is not wrong or irresponsible to love someone who is a sex offender. Current medical knowledge supports the idea that inappropriate sexual behavior is often the result of psychological disorder and one that is treatable. This document is designed to provide you with helpful guidelines if you decide to remain supportive
- Female Offenders
- Articles
Books
Juvenile Sex Offenders
Legal Resources
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Professional Organizations
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Sex and Pornography Addictions
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Statistics
- US Department of Justice: Sex Offender Management - Recidivism of Sex Offenders (2001)
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A Guide for Parents of Young Sex Offenders by Eliana Gil, Phd. Launch Press, P.O. Box 5629, Rockville, MD 20855 (800) 321-9167. This booklet was created to be useful to parents of young sex offenders. The first reaction of most parents who learn that their child has molested is disbelief. It is simply too hard to even consider that a child of yours could have done such a thing. You may find yourself saying to the person who brings you the news that they are mistaken, or they have the wrong child, and anyway your child couldn't have done. . . whatever they say sh/he did. The fact that your child molested another child is a shock. you will find yourself repeating the phrase "...it couldn't be. . ." You may find yourself immediately defending your child with other possible explanations. Many parents wonder if their child was misunderstood, or someone is exaggerating what actually happened. And yet as you hear more information, the reality may begin to set in: it's possible your child is in real trouble, and has done something terribly wrong. As parents, you are anxious to get to the bottom of things, understand what may have happened, and begin solving the problem. The first step of course, is to talk to your child to see what explanation is offered. But unfortunately explanations may not flow easily. often children are so afraid, and so ashamed, that they may deny the whole event, further confusing you. You may let out a sigh of relief when the child denies, and stand by the child, boldly stating that if the child says it did not occur, then it didn't. This is indeed a difficult time.
Families that Abuse: Diagnosis and Therapy (1992) by Stefano Cirillo and Paola Diblasio. The Sobering problem of family violence directed at children demands a response from society mandated with the protection of children; the predicament of children and their families experiencing this pain requires a family-based clinical approach to their treatment. This book argues for the absolute necessity for both protection and treatment of abused children and their families and makes a powerful case for harnessing these two functions together. It is a pragmatic and scholarly review, informed by the commitment of clinicians working with abusive families who reveal their work through their practical approaches to numerous family predicaments, and it is refreshingly honest about the dilemmas encountered in this work. Often, the work of family therapy is situated in the real world of conflicting mandates, with pressures from the courts, agencies, schools and professional bodies, all of which may constrain our therapeutic choices. In this book, Stefano Cirillo and Paola DiBlasio tackle such workaday problems head on.
Female Adolescent Sexual Abusers By Marcia T. Turner & Tracey N. Turner Safer Society Press (802) 247-3132. An exploratory study of mother-daughter dynamics with implications for treatment.
Treating Child Sex Offenders and Victims By Anna C. Salter SAGE Publications (805) 499-9774
When Children Molest Children (1991), By Carolyn Cunningham, PhD and Kee MacFarlane, MSW. Brimming with therapeutic exercises specifically for young sexual abusers, this manual is an excellent companion to Steps to Healthy Touching. Build anger management, empathy and problem-solving skills in children who molest. The authors of Steps to Healthy Touching provide an array of highly structured exercises to help clinicians address post-traumatic stress, the sexual abuse cycle, self-esteem and healthy sexuality issues. For use with children ages five through twelve.
When Children Abuse (1996). By Carolyn Cunningham, PhD and Kee MacFarlane, MSW. This book is for and about sex offenders - but not the ones in trench coats who loiter around playgrounds. It's for those on the playground, the young ones, the preadolescents who sexually abuse other children - using force, intimidation, and secrecy. The authors address the range of emotions and practical issues that must be considered if these deeply troubled children are to become healthy. They offer highly structured exercises and activities that engage both children and their families in the treatment process these exercises apply to a variety of impulse control problems, including abuse, fire setting, and animal torture.
By William Raspberry
The Washington Post - Friday, June 1, 2001; Page A31
A Texas judge has ordered 14 probationers to post signs outside their homes announcing: "Danger. Registered Sex Offender Lives Here."
They also have to have a similar sign attached to the rear of their automobiles -- and a detachable sign must be displayed in the rear window by the driver of any private car in which a probationer is a passenger.
Has Judge J. Manuel Banales gone too far? Or is it about time somebody did something to protect our children from sexual predators? The questions have split the residents of Corpus Christi (and much of the legal profession elsewhere). The answers, not surprisingly, depend very much on the image that comes to mind when you hear the term "sex offender."
Think of the pervert perpetually exposing himself, or, especially, think of the dirty old man habitually preying sexually on unsuspecting schoolchildren, and you might think the signs a pretty good idea. If the state can't keep these dangerous people locked up, at least parents have a right to know where they are on the loose.
On the other hand, think of the one-time offender who couldn't quite figure out that "no" meant no, or of the 18-year-old caught having consensual sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend. Think of the sex offenders who are themselves children. Do you really want such people publicly branded? Are they truly that dangerous?
Banales, who appears to be acting within the Texas law that already provides for notifying residents when a released sex offender moves into their neighborhood, defends his actions as a "reasonable" application of the law. A little drastic, perhaps. But, as he puts it, "Between protecting the safety of children and protecting the rights of a person on probation for a sex offense, the balance has to tilt toward the children."
And the sign-bearers, he notes, are probationers. They are people who have been convicted of sex offenses but who have applied for probation to avoid serving prison time. As part of the deal, they agree to abide by whatever lawful conditions the judge imposes.
So far as I can discover, none of them has petitioned the court for jail time in order to escape the "Scarlet Letter" treatment.
At one level, it makes a sort of tough-minded sense. I mean, how many tears would I shed if the guy who burglarized my home a few years back were made to display an "I Am a Burglar" sticker on his car? It wouldn't bother me a lot if they tattooed a scarlet "B" on his forehead. And what about people convicted of speeding, or driving under the influence, or aggravated assault or tax evasion? Why not make them post signs in their yards? Why not a similar treatment for loan officers or home-repair people who take advantage of poor folk? Or for drug dealers and drug users?
Are sex crimes really that special?
Well, perhaps they are -- on at least two levels. First, sex crimes are different from car theft and tax fraud in quite fundamental ways. They are intensely and peculiarly personal and, partly for that reason, can be particularly traumatizing.
Second, sex criminals (at least those who prey on children and strangers) may be different from other criminals. Counterfeiters, reckless drivers and spousal abusers might change their behavior to avoid prison or even bad publicity. But as Duke University psychologist Robert Carson once told me regarding a different Texas case, sex offenders are not so amenable to change.
"Nothing has as yet been devised to give reasonable assurance of non-recidivism for such individuals," he said. "That's true of rapists and child molesters and even of such milder offenders as exhibitionists and peepers. The only thing that has worked -- apart from permanent incarceration until old age -- is the very expensive way of constant monitoring by trained parole officers and the like."
Do Judge Banales's mandatory signs fall acceptably into the category of "and the like"? When I think of some of the dangerous repeat offenders -- people who rape and kill even after serving their time for earlier offenses -- I'm tempted to say yes.
But then it occurs to me: If Banales thinks his 14 sign-bearers are that dangerous, why would he give them probation in the first place?
By Kim Curtis
Associated Press - January 7, 2003
SAN JOSE, Calif. California has lost track of more than 33,000 convicted sex offenders, despite a law requiring rapists and child molesters to register each year for inclusion in the Megan's Law database.
"We don't know where they are," acknowledged Margaret Moore, who until recently ran California's sex offender registry.
Sex offenders are not checking in with law enforcement, which in most cases is a felony. And many overworked police departments are not following up.
Experts say sex offender databases nationwide have fallen short of their promise.
"It's not only in California," said Laura Ahearn, executive director of Parents for Megan's Law, a national victims' rights group. "We're expecting sex offenders to be reporting their addresses and that's the problem."
According to 2002 data provided to The Associated Press after repeated requests over nine months, the state does not know the whereabouts of at least 33,296 sex offenders, or 44 percent of the 76,350 who registered with the state at least once. These rapists and child molesters vanished after registering.
The total number of convicted sex offenders whose whereabouts are unknown may be even higher: No one knows how many offenders never registered at all after leaving prison.
Failing to register could put high-risk offenders in jail for up to three more years, but most police departments are not enforcing the law.
No one knows how many of these missing sex offenders have struck again. But nationally, 52 percent of rapists are arrested for new crimes within three years of leaving prison, according to the U.S. Justice Department.
Among those missing is Richard Flick, convicted of molesting four young children in the 1980s and '90s. Flick was freed from Atascadero State Hospital in 1999 despite warnings from the hospital staff that he hadn't resolved his sexual attraction to children. Even he said it would be "disastrous" to be released without supervision. A search of the database turned up nothing about him.
The 1996 law is named for 7-year-old Megan Kanka, a New Jersey girl who was raped and killed by a child molester who had moved in across the street. All states have similar laws designed to warn communities about the presence of such ex-cons.
Megan's Law databases are supposed to help the public and police monitor convicted sex offenders by keeping track of their home and work addresses and other personal details. Adults can search the database at sheriffs' offices or police departments.
But no one audits California's database for accuracy. State Justice Department officials cannot even say how much the program costs.
Attorney General Bill Lockyer touts the sex offender database as a valuable tool for the public, one that is updated daily and available in 13 languages. But when presented with the AP's findings - the first-ever analysis of the database's accuracy - he acknowledged changes are needed.
"Our system is inadequate, woefully inadequate," he said. "It can only be improved by putting money into the local law enforcement agencies. It's a matter of resources."
Former state Assemblywoman Barbara Alby, the child advocate who wrote California's Megan's Law, said she was appalled by the findings.
"We've got to put some teeth in the law for law enforcement," she said. "We should tie some of their funding to making sure this is getting done."
Some states take a firmer approach. In Washington, law enforcement officers go to sex offenders each year to confirm their information, rather than relying on ex-cons to report in. Only 10 percent of that state's 17,105 offenders could not be found, said Toni Korneder, Washington's Criminal History Records Manager.
Among the bright spots in California are Los Angeles and San Jose, which spends $600,000 on a staff of seven people working full-time to monitor 2,700 rapists and child molesters. In San Jose at least, police say they can instantly identify every known molester living or working nearby as soon as they learn of an attack on a child.
Most other local efforts are less organized and understaffed.
"We could definitely use some help," said Detective Terry Chew, the lone officer responsible for tracking Sacramento's 1,945 registered sex offenders.
He said he thinks 300 or more are not complying, but "there's so many of them out there, it's hard to keep track."
Lebanon Daily News - June 14, 2005
http://www.ldnews.com/Stories/0,1413,139~10142~2920027,00.html
Recent headlines have prompted discussions concerning perpetrators of child sexual abuse. When talking about the perpetrators the gender term "he" is often automatically used and sometimes the idea of female perpetrators is dismissed as irrelevant.
It is true that the majority of perpetrators are males but females do also sexually abuse children. Linda Crockett, author of "The Deepest Wound: How a Journey to El Salvador Led to Healing from Mother-Daughter Incest" is concerned that dismissing female perpetrators in discussions will only serve to keep victims silent and prevent parents from taking precautions when using female caregivers for their children. She would like to see such dismissals counteracted with information about female perpetrated sexual abuse.
Researchers have found as few as 4 percent to as many as 20 percent of sexual abuse victims have been abused by females. The discrepancies have been explained by the differences in populations studied, differences in the words or definitions used in the individual studies and underreporting by victims. Victims of female perpetrated abuse are more likely to suffer in silence.
In our society the idea of women as nurturing, caring and maternal has created the myth that women don't commit sexual abuse. Allegations of female perpetrated sexual abuse have been dismissed or not taken seriously in justice systems as well as child protective service agencies. In the article "Female Perpetration of Child Sexual Abuse: An Overview of the Problem" by Lisa Lipshires. found at www.movingforward.org , she cites incidents where female perpetrators have not made it into the justice system or have not been prosecuted because of the idea that women are incapable of such abuse. Our current focus on males as the perpetrators of sexual violence and the belief that sexual abuse by females is improbable keeps victims silent.
Sexual abuse by women often starts under the guise of caretaking; fondling a child's genitals as part of bathing and application of medication to the genitals; insertion of suppositories and enemas can also be used for sexual gratification on the part of the abuser. Frequent use of enemas and humiliating inspections of genital cleanliness are often reported by victims of female perpetrators. For female victims the abuse can be violent and brutal.
Crockett has been contacted by many survivors of mother-daughter incest after her book was published and many of the women said that the abuse they suffered was very violent. Sixty-five percent of the women in a study by Bobbie Rosencrans ("The Last Secret: Daughters Abused by Mothers") revealed that the abuse by their mothers was of a violent nature. Abuse of boys is often done in a seductive manner and may be gentler but it is still harmful.
Victims of female sexual abuse perpetrators deal with many of the same issues as victims of male perpetrators. Feelings of shame and guilt, depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse are common. For male survivors of female abuse the shame and guilt can be intensified by the idea that sexual contact is the fault of the male. They may also be confused that an act that was abusive may be defined as a rite of passage by society.
For female victims there may be issues regarding gender identity and a strong hatred of their own femaleness. For both genders abuse by mothers creates issues with boundaries and safe touch since the mother is often the primary caregiver. Children who are sexually abused by a mother are denied the developmental needs of nurturing touches and parental bonding that involves learning to separate from the parent. The impact of female perpetrated abuse is traumatic for the survivor.
Research on the topic of female perpetrators of sexual abuse continues. While there may not be definitive numbers to prove the scope of the problem, we do know that females do sexually abuse children. That knowledge makes it imperative that we have discussions and training about the subject so that children will be better protected and victims will be able to speak out. According to Linda Crockett, "It is so important for survivors who have done some healing to start sharing stories because it is healing and shows a pathway for others."
For more information or counseling services, contact SARCC at 272-5308. Linda Crockett's book can be found at www.amazon.com or by contacting the Samaritan Counseling Center at 560-9969. Crockett also offers workshops on female sexual abuse and can be reached at the Samaritan Counseling Center.
Dugan is assistant director of the Sexual Assault Resource & Counseling Center of Lebanon County (SARCC).
Star Tribune - January 13, 2004
It is one of the worst taboos in society: a nurturing mother figure who sexually abuses a child. But three recent criminal cases in Florida's Palm Beach County have brought the topic to the fore.
Last month, Amy Duane, a 37-year-old mother of three, was sentenced to four years in prison for having sex with a 13-year-old boy. Her friend, Debra Favre, 39, will be sentenced next month after pleading guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old boy and serving alcohol to minors in Duane's home west of Greenacres.
Last week, Boynton Beach music teacher Carol Lynn Flannigan was charged with sexual battery on a child. Police say Flannigan, 49, the mother of a 16-year-old autistic son, began an affair with one of her students 19 months ago, when the boy was 11. She was freed on $30,000 bail and placed on house arrest while she awaits trial.
When men commit sex crimes, they spark horror but little surprise. But many people seem unwilling to believe that women are capable of such things.
"I think the first reaction is denial. Then people think, 'She has to be crazy,' " said Gail Ryan, who has studied hundreds of sex offender cases and directs the Perpetration Prevention Program at the Kempe Children's Center in Denver. "I think the public feels that a woman who does such things must be mentally ill, as opposed to the whole population of men [who are sex offenders]. That's because women are regarded as nurturers and mothers."
In fact, the thought of a woman molesting a child is so abhorrent that for years researchers avoided the subject, making scientific studies rare and limiting general understanding of female pedophilia.
"We don't want to see mothers in that capacity," said Alison Tarlow-Sale, a psychologist who specializes in treating sexual abuse.
Why do they do it?
Sex offenses are still very much a man's crime, according to the Justice Department. Men were perpetrators in 96 percent of sex assaults reported nationwide in 1999.
Women were most often involved in cases in which the victim was under age 6, making up 12 percent of those offenders. Women were involved in 3 percent of sex cases in which the victim was 6 to 12 years old, and 3 percent for victims 13 through 17.
Experts are not able to draw an accurate profile of a typical female sex offender, because they are so rare. The few psychologists who have studied the issue believe female pedophiles are most likely to be women who have had failed adult relationships, who have suffered a great loss, or who have been victims of abuse themselves.
Middle-aged women who have sex with teenage boys -- classified as "Teacher/Lovers" by researchers -- sometimes have additional motives, psychologists say.
"You're talking about a power differential," said Tarlow-Sale. The offender "is a person of perceived power, so they're going to have a much greater influence [on the child]. In the case of a teacher, that would certainly be the situation."
Some say female pedophiles are struggling to fulfill emotional needs through sexual relationships that are entirely within their control. Desperate for love but trapped in an unsatisfying marriage, or unable to sustain any kind of adult relationship, a woman looks to a child for the affection, intimacy and attention that she has failed to secure from an adult male.
"She's in control here," said Tarlow-Sale. "The child gives her the attention and love she's yearning for. The intimacy through the sexual relationship and attention [translates into] love."
But although sex is the mechanism for securing what the female pedophile needs, few see it as the driving force behind the abuse.
"They don't seem to be pedophiles like men," Hollida Wakefield told ABC News. Wakefield has studied and treated sex offenders for more than 20 years at the Institute of Psychological Therapies in Northfield, Minn. "There are some cases where some people are in bad relationships or marriages and are just really lonely, and they find themselves in a relationship with these children. It isn't so much that women are sexually aroused."
Victims, or just 'lucky'?
Abuse cases in which the victim is male and the offender female are likely to be under-reported because of society's attitudes about boys' sexual development. What is rape when the victim is a girl might be considered a boy's "rite of passage."
"In society, it used to be that with a 13-or 14-year-old male, if his first sexual experience involved a 25-year-old girl who may well have taken advantage of him, his male counterparts may say, 'Hey, you lucked out,' " Richard Gartner, author of "Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men," told ABC News. "It was almost seen as a rite of passage. That's the only group that later recalls such experiences as 'lucking out.' You don't find that in females. Today that kind of behavior is regarded as sexual assault."
Whereas abuse of a young girl by a man is always seen as horrifying, this "rite of passage" perception can make cases involving the abuse of a boy by a woman seem titillating -- and thus irresistible to the media. It is unlikely, for instance, that Mary Kay Letourneau, the former schoolteacher serving time for having an affair with one of her students (and ultimately bearing him two children), would have generated countless headlines and a made-for-TV movie if she had been male and her victim female.
The scenario in which an older woman "teaches" a young man about sex is also ubiquitous in literature and movies. "The Graduate's" Mrs. Robinson and "The Summer of '42" are classic examples of a theme that has been explored endlessly.
"Society glorifies the French tutor, the older woman teaching the younger boy," said Patricia Pape, a Florida psychologist. "But for a child [underage], there is no informed consent."
And experts say these messages can confuse male victims and subtly encourage them not to report abuse. Because boys tend to be easily sexually aroused, Gartner said, adults can manipulate their victims into thinking they were equal and willing participants in sexual acts. And because society sometimes perceives that the incidents aren't abuse but a case of the boy "getting lucky," male victims might not admit or even realize they've been abused until they reach adulthood.
A boy might see sex with an older woman as "a sort of a prize," said Tarlow-Sale. "Depending on the maturity level, that could be something they would want. . . . It would be really hard to judge whether he felt raped. If he's gone through puberty and is having sexual feelings, it could be working out for both of them. It's absolutely inappropriate, but the victim might not be aware of that."
